Whipped Cream Difficulties

There is a quote, commonly attributed to Albert Einstein, (but probably apocryphal, at least in this form) “Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler.”

There is another quote, commonly attributed to an anonymous actor in a commercial, “I’m not a doctor. But I play one on TV.”

What do those have to do with this week’s TMQ? After the jump…

“What is Minnesota’s secret? The Vikings threw out complex schemes and went simple.” 463 words down.

“Brees would have been benched, or waived out of football, before he blossomed.” We want to call B.S. on this, but we’re having problems finding stats to back us up.

In other news, TMQ is absolutely shocked and appalled that the NFL would run a commercial for concussion awareness….with an actor playing a doctor. Really. We are not making this up.

So in a spot with real football players and a real NFL official, why was an actor falsely presented as a scientist?

It shouldn’t surprise us, but it does sometimes, what sets TMQ off. (See last year’s righteous indignation about “Rudolph” airing in November.)

Sweet: Brees breaking the record against the Chargers. Sour: Carolina and Seattle. Both: Giants – Browns. Warren!

“Needless to say, Hollywood blockbusters do not aspire to realism.” Except in the universe of TMQ, that is. And what are the pros and cons of sending a message to alien civilizations?

“Why is Manning viewed as the better endorser?” We don’t know, but we are amused by the DirectTV ad. Try saying “tapenade”. Isn’t it a fun word to say? “Tapenade.” Now try saying it in a Manning-esque accent. “Tapenade.” Now try saying it five or six times in a row until it loses all meaning. Now go lay down with a cool washcloth over your eyes for a while.

“[Mario] Williams is giving Ryan Leaf a run for most overrated football player of all time…” Harsh, dude, harsh.

“How can several minutes of multiple viewings be required to determine if something is obvious?” Perhaps it is kind of like those Magic Eye things: obvious once you see it, but it takes some people forever before the image comes together? (We’ve never actually been able to see one of those Magic Eye things ourselves.)

Performing in an orchestra requires great skill, but there are lots of people who would appreciate being “terrorized” at $89,000 a year in a pleasant setting, with 10 weeks’ vacation and generous benefits.

Some context would be useful here. For example, how does a salary of $145,000 a year in Chicago compare to the same salary in other cities, say, New York? Is that an unreasonable salary for someone who is a world-class musician?

“Music is important to the civic sphere — but shouldn’t the poor have first claim on charity, not upper-crust musicians?” Why do the “poor” deserve first claim on “charity”, Gregg? Those “upper-crust musicians” are at least producing something for the “charity” they receive; indeed, the more we think about it, the more we object to Easterbrook’s “charity” characterization.

“a lawyers-focused fashion show”. We have no joke here. We just want to say:

Tuesday Morning Quarterback readers know this column contends that government-sponsored lotteries exist mainly to fleece the poor and working-class, with active cooperation of the local network affiliates that profit from mega-millions advertising.

We’re shocked that TMQ missed yet another chance to remind us that his “compromise with my Baptist upbringing is to be pro-topless but anti-gambling” as he does at least once every year. We’re appalled that he didn’t provide any photos to illustrate his pro-topless stance.

“syrup sommelier” is almost as much fun to say as “tapenade”. Try it. However, we are much more amused by the Canadian Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve and the Great Maple Syrup Heist of 2012.

(“Maple Syrup Plot Thickens in Canada”. We cannot lie; we live for headlines like that.)

Chicken-<salad> kicks: Bengals, Chiefs.

If any person or organization wants to donate to the president or other elected official, fine, so long as the donation is disclosed. But it should not be fine for a sitting president or other elected official not only to solicit donations but to do so on public time, receiving public pay and benefits while asking interest groups for more money.

Interesting idea. But wouldn’t that give “special interest” groups even more leverage, by making the funds they raise that much more important? Instead of “asking” for money, won’t these groups donate to politicians with a record of supporting their cause? Wouldn’t we be better off if we reduced the power and influence of politicians overall, rather than treating money as the root of the problem?

“Friday night, Pulaski won 42-14 with starters leaving the game in the third quarter.” Why does Easterbrook have such difficulty telling us who Pulaski’s opponents are? (Little Rock Christian Academy. You’re welcome.) “Because Pulaski won handily, Bruins starters faced only two fourth downs.” Hmmm. Didn’t something similar happen last week? Must be pretty easy to be a no-punt football program if you play a lot of cupcake schools.

Liberals, [Charles] Murray charges, are harming the underclass by asserting that all lifestyles are equally valid — when they know from their own experience that conventional behavior leads to the best economic and educational outcomes.

Paging Lawrence! Lawrence, pick up the white courtesy phone, please!

Reader mail: the college-cost bubble, risk vs. return in passing, TMQ was unfair to Stoops (maybe), and more on Schiano the Weasel.

Olivet Nazarene 20, Siena Heights 14. Lake Erie 38, Notre Dame College 35.

Tune in next week, when we’re hoping TMQ will share his favorite recipes for tapenade and maple syrup. (Not in the same dish; that’d just be gross.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 9th, 2012 at 4:57 pm and is filed under Clippings, Food, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.